(to the tune of Light My Fire, by The Doors)

You know that it would be untrue
You know it wouldn’t fit the facts
If I was to say to you
Man, I just don’t need no wax

Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax

The time to hesitate is through
You know my board is slick as glass
Without it I can only lose
You can bet I’ll slip and bust my ass

Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax, yeah

The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the puke
Without it I can only lose
And I’ll surf just like a total kook

Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax, YEAH

You know that it would be untrue
You know it wouldn’t fit the facts
If I was to say to you
You’ve been generous with the wax

Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Come on Doofus, pass the wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax
Gotta have a bar of surf wax
GOTTA HAVE A BAR OF SURF WAAAAAXXXXXXXXXX!

 [spoken, after the music ends:  “Oh yeah, and I need that wax comb, too…”]

Lyrics by Mike Clancy